Thisisme

For a long time I have been waiting because I thought that was the right thing to do. U know, try to forget about the ones who's been hurting u. But the thing is that I can't, and I'm not sure that I will ever be able to do so. So before I copy and paste this conversation and this apology that I won't ever get why I even got it, when he didnt even meant it. Why just not leave it alone? Instead of ripping something up that was maybe becoming to heal. Ofc I still love u and maybe I will allways do and I would love to be talking with u again but in that case for life, and not just for one night because that's just something that I can't handle anymore, sincerily its getting to piss me off, big time! but so here it is and Chris im sorry if I interuppt ur private life or what ever u wanna call it becasue why should I care about what u think when u dont give a shit about me? huh? seams fair to me. 

so okay we start by showing the things that u wrote the first time u gave me up and ripped my heart out.

Chris: Hey Im here now

 

me: Yey <3

 

Chris: i need to say something

 

me: okay what?

 

Chris: i cant talk to you anymore, i cant focus on living my life when i do

 

me: you can't? in what way?

 

Chris: i cant get you off my mind and all i wanna do is be with you and thats not gonna happen anytime soon, and i think the only way for me to move on is for us to just try and forget about each other

 

im really sorry but i want to be happy and i cant be happy if im in love with you   me: well the only thing I want is you to be happy so, sorry for being a pain in the ass   Chris: you're not a pain in the ass and i want things to work with you but they wont and i know i'd fuck things up anyway   me: could you just for one minute in your fucking life stand up for your self and stop thinking yourself to be a dick or to think that whenever you give yourself a chance to do maybe do something good think that ur gonna mess it up because your not!

 Chris:  
yes i am i cheated on my last girlfriend twice and the one before that, who i really fucking loved, at least three times

 

its not gonna work because i cant do long distance

 

and im done with screwing you around

   

me: yeah maybe u have, but you have never done anything like that to me and I just wonder wtf happened to the old chris that I got to know? The one that was relaxed and made pancakes in the middle of the night and didn't care to just have a bit fun with out thinking about the consequences?     Chris: im exactly like i was before i just didnt tell you everything because i love you   me: ha, no your not because even if u say u are I know that your not because the "old" chris were the one who first wanted to chat or to cam and your not anymore and I know that u have other things in your life and that u don't have the time to do that to me but the only thing I want is u to not give up for once, that would just be heartbreaking

Chris: if there was any way for me to see you in the next year i wouldnt be doing this, but chances are that no matter what i do we wont ever see eachother and im not gonna keep up some long distance relationship or whatever you wanna call it thats not making me happy

 

me: well if you wanna meet me so badly fight for it? or ask for it? because I don't know what to think.. I kind of had the money to come visit u or to give u to visit me here. but then it was like u changed your mind so I did other stuff for that money.. just tell me what to do and I'll be doing it

 

Chris: im not gonna make you pay for it, i wont have time anyway with school and ive got so much shit going on with my family right now

 

i just cant do this

 

me: okey thx for the time anyway it was nice having u in my life this time. I really needed u when I got to know u so thx for that. U made me finnish school with a smile and thoughts of u. bye

 

Chris: im sorry

            

            Bye

 

me: Bye

Okey so now we're done with that! Awesome! time to show u the apology :) (sorry for the weird stuffies that goes around some of the text's

1. If a guy is stupid enough to lose a girl as amazing as you and then wish he had her back in his life, he doesn't deserve her

 

2.Because even though he's realised how important she is to him, he can never fix all the damage he's caused

 

3. And even though he admits that he fucked up, all the trouble he's caused her won't just go away

 

4.But even after all that he's done, he still loves her, and he still remembers the best days of his life being the days when he talked to her

 

5.And although all the apologies in the world won't make it all better, he wants those days back more than anything

 

 

Okey so if a Guy send u this shit because he wants u back, yeah it kinda sounds like that to me anyways. well who dah hell would leave u less than two days after sending that to you? is it just me or is it not wrong to do so? I mean... if u get that kind of a chance shouldnt u use it the best that u can? I think that I would...but I guess u dont know untill u get into that situation... anyway if anyone or in the best case if Chris could answer why he/u did like he/u did.. that would just be great!

cheers!